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Rfl Cstllo. Add some vowels to get my name right. I live somewhere in Manila but I study somewhere in the Cordillera. I used to blog everyday, but there's just a lot of other things that keeps me busy these days.
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Igal Patchi Jinn
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by lostcase.
colors are from colourlovers.
script from challenge.
How Do I Describe Myself.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009 @ 6:13 PM
For the past months, particularly on this last year of my High School, I've been undergoing pressured changes in my life. I actually hate it, but, I just can't hate it, I have to accept them.

For me to share these, I need to re-introduce myself to everyone who reads this blog. I know maybe a few, or maybe no one at all reads this blog, but, whatever. I really don't care. As long my blog understands, I'm already fine with it.

You might never thought that I am a quiet, shy, untalkative [bunny :P], unsociable, alone, has-her-own-world, and anything that has the same meaning as these words. But, when you read this blog, you probably won't see these traits from me. I must admit, I don't want to show that I am shy to others when I type something over this blog, the hell, it's a blog, a blog means an open journal. So, yes, for a thousand time, this is the only place I can share my thoughts with. I never (or seldom) share my thoughts to others personally. I only keep them in my mind and think that I can overcome those negative thoughts. It may sound weird for you people who asks help from another person but this is me. I seldom accept other people's opinions (but I know how to respect them always) and only care for myself. It may sound unfair but that's how my life works. My life as a person for another person.

Just right now, I always wanted to be alone. Walking without someone beside me and walking just by myself. But, no, I'm not emo. I hate slashing my wrist, cry like a river on the corner of a room and wearing black all the time (what's that, I'm attending a funeral? XD). I wanted to be alone because that makes myself unwind itself. I can relax by thinking good and great things that have happened to me. I can talk to myself by saying that I can do something for myself. Well, this doesn't mean that I'm going crazy or anything but being only with myself makes me feel great. That even if I don't have any accompaniment, I can still carry myself to the destination I need to go. That I don't need a person to talk to, leaving myself to do the job. That I don't need a person to share secrets or thoughts, leaving myself to the job as well. And, that I don't need a person to be with me all the time, because I know I can handle situations by myself as long as I can do it.

These may sound funny for you but it's true. Though I must admit too that I still have my friends to keep me company, but sometimes, I just need myself to do things that I don't need to share with others. Thank God I have a brain, senses, feelings to cover myself. With my brain, I can think; with my senses, I can feel the things other people are saying to me - meaning, I can correct myself whether they say bad things about me; and with my feelings, I can show if I'm fine or not to others.

No matter how people say negative things about me, I know I can still carry myself. As long as I can still believe that I can still handle these situations, I can show how great or how "useful" I am to others.

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