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Rfl Cstllo. Add some vowels to get my name right. I live somewhere in Manila but I study somewhere in the Cordillera. I used to blog everyday, but there's just a lot of other things that keeps me busy these days.
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by lostcase.
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"Into your hands I commend my spirit."
Tuesday, July 17, 2007 @ 5:10 PM
"I know this retreat changed my life, but something was missing, and something went wrong. I want to say this would be one of the most weirdest things in my life...But, I know this changed my life and I know that it will never happen again."

Yesterday, our retreat officially started. I thought it would be the best since I thought my bestfriend and I would be lying in the bed together. But it changed because our dorms were changed and my best friend was a room far away from me.

For today, I already told myself that I would tell everything about what happened on my Sophomore Year retreat, since our teacher didn't told us anything of not telling to anybody what happened in our retreat. And, for God's sake, that teacher was Mrs. Estacio, a teacher where you can't meet again in your whole life.

Our first session happened yesterday morning which was entitled "Who Am I". And, don't forget about our retreat's theme for this year, which was "Into Your Hands". Hm, I'll just share something, awhile ago I was searching for that theme...In which a Filipino painter painted (I won't tell the story since I'm too bored to type XD). So, my blog's title was "Into your hands I commend my spirit" because Jesus said that before he died. But, I can relate to you the cross in the "Bukal ng Tipan" 's (in which was the main retreat house of Mary Hill) chapel, was Jesus' hand reaching us...or in a way that his right hand was reaching out. And since, I wasn't (and yes, our adviser saw my camera, but she didn't confiscated it) allowed to bring my camera, I can't take a picture of it. OKAY, so we're far away from the main topic which is about my retreat...Haha. Okay, so first session, the only thing that we did was we grouped ourselves to 9 groups (which is just like last year) and we made something that is related to the session. We traced our hand and place some symbols which is mainly about ourselves.

Then, after that was our lunch...then...Siesta Time (yung oras na pwede kaming magpahinga). At that time, I felt so lonely because my best friend wasn't my room mate, so I just brought my K-Zone out and read it (takas ko lang talaga yun >:D). Ang alam ko na lang is pinag-uusapan nila yung tungkol dun sa pesteng letter na yun, naiinis din ako kasi yun yung naisipan nilang pag-usapan na madami pa naman pwedeng pag-usapan. Hindi na ako nakisali kasi hindi din naman nila alam na madami akong alam tungkol sa letter na iyon. Masakit din naman kasi si Janine yung pinagbintangan nilang malaki, tapos sinasabi pa nila yung pangalan ng best friend ko, na hindi naman silang dalawa yung nagsimula nung pangalawang letter. Ginawan pa nga nila ng code name si Janine eh, "Bru" daw, in which was, short for "Bruha" (or pwede na ring Bisaya term ng Bro XD). Oh, and they also said that we shouldn't be sharing to others about that thing they did...Pero, ako yung naging pasaway.

I'll use Taglish now, mag-nonose bleed dito. Haha.

Pagkatapos ng siesta, bumaba na kami para sa Second Session. Pagbaba namin, binulong ko na sa best friend ko lahat ng pinag-usapan nila. Hindi ko namalayan na isa sa room mate ko ay nasa harap namin. Ngayon lang ako nainis sa kanya, and during the night, Benino told me they knew that I told my bestfriend about that thing they've discussed about. Ano ba ang paki nila at sinabi ko sa bestfriend ko na tungkol dun sa letter na iyon. Kaya, nung gabi, during the meditation, dun na talaga ako napaiyak. Sinabay ko na rin yung pagiyak sa story at dun sa 'bulong' na pangyayari. Kagabi ko rin lang nagawa yun sa buong buhay ko...At bakit naman kaagad ako napaiyak? Kasi, nung pagkatapos ng dinner ata namin, may siesta time ulit kami. At that point, dun lang ulit ako sa bed ko at nagbasa ng K-Zone. Muntikan na kasi ako nilang iwan sa loob ng room. Buti nandun si Kristel (at kahit na nandun si 'hate room mate'), at inaccept nila muna ako sa grupo nila. Ako rin ang unang humiga sa bed nung gabi kasi ayaw kong lumapit sa kanila, medyo naiinis pa rin ako sa pangyayaring yun...Akala nila tulog na ako...Pero hindi naman talaga. Ang dami ko ngang inisip nun eh, kaya palagi akong nagigising kahit di pa kami pinapagising. Tapos, every time na sinasabi nilang nakakatakot daw sa lugar ko, I didn't believed in them. And yes, I heard many stories about the ghosts inside Mary Hill, but last night, I didn't felt anything. At, sanay na ako sa dulo, last year din kasi, sa dulo din ako.

Then, this morning, naglakad kami pababa para sa last session namin after our mass. It was quite tiring though, but a good experience for me. It wasn't my first time to go down the road, pero matagal ko na rin nagawa yung ganung bagay.

Madaming bagay ako natutunan ngayon, yung iwasan yung mga taong alam mo namang hindi mo kayang i-trust. Iwasan yung mga room mate mo na akala mo mababait and all. At, iwasan mo yung mga bad things na mangyayari sa iyo. Last night, I prayed to God na sana matapos na ang gulong ito sa mundo ko. Pero, I know that this problem won't be existing for a year or for many days. Kanina, sa Mcdo, naisipan din namin ni best friend na pag-usapan ng konti yung letter. Pero, sinabi na rin namin na "tapos na ang problema" kasi nag-usap na sila ni...yung sinusulatan ng letter. Tapos na rin naman ang problema ko kasi nangyari na. At, alam ko na hindi naman siguro naiinis yung iba sa akin dahil dun sa sinabi ko kay best friend yung pinag-usapan nila. Sabi pa nga niya eh, kung hindi daw dahil SA AKIN na binulong ko sa kanya yung pinag-usapan ng mga room mates ko, mas lalala pa daw ang gulo.

To my bestfriend, Nina:

Okay. Bahala ka kung basahin mo ito o hindi. Basta, i-cocomment ko naman siguro sa Friendster tungkol sa blog na ito. Haha.

I was thankful na naging classmate ulit kita this year, nako, kung hindi talaga at nangyari itong pangyayaring ito sa letter, sigurado akong madadamay na talaga ako dito at ako na rin ang pagbibintangan nila. Thank you dun sa mga hug mo last night, grabe kong na-appreciate ko yung mga yun. Tapos, I'm thankful dun kasi palagi kang nandun para makinig sa akin. Alam mo bang ikaw lang talaga ang taong madami kong naisipan na sabihan para sa mga feelings ko last night at yung kanina rin? Grabe talaga. Kasi naman kasi yung pangalawang taong yun eh...Pati na rin ako...Halos na dinamay na ako ni 'hate room mate'. Tapos, kung nasa room ka lang talaga namin, siguro parehas na tayong umiiyak dahil ayaw natin yung pinag-uusapan nila...Or, tayo lang yung nasa sulok ng room tapos nag-pipicture or nagbabasa ng K-Zone. Haha. Nakakainis talaga si Ms. Velarde noh? Buti pa last year, sama-sama lahat ng girls.

Sana tapos mo na palang basahin yung 'retreat letter' ko sa iyo. Sa iyo talaga yung pinakamahabang nagawa ko. :))

Uhhh...sige...Yun lang naman. Basta, friends tayo...Forever and ever...Amen. XD

-Raffy, you're bestfriend for many months already.

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